Immortality
by minimumstitch
Summary: Jack has a heart to heart with the Doctor about his immortality


Jack spoke, head bowed, rubbing his neck, refusing to look at The Doctor. "Doc, I need to ask you something, it's ah kinda delicate."

"I never thought I'd see the day that Captain Jack Harkness was embarrassed. This should be good. Right-o ask away." said the Doc, bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands in pockets.

"It's sex, well not sex, but reproduction. Aw hell! Doc, what happens if I have kids?"

The Doctor looked intrigued. "Why? Are you thinking of having children? Don't tell me the great gigolo is broody! This Ianto must be some man to have you thinking of settling down!"

Jack glared at the smug looking man opposite him. "I'm not broody alright, but I am going to live for a hell of a long time, and I'm sure as hell not going to remain celibate. What happens if I get pregnant or I get someone else pregnant?"

"That is a question! Jack Harkness pregnant, with child, bun in the oven, up the duff, knocked up. Did you know in seahorses it's the male that carries the eggs? Course you did!"

"Doc!" snarled Jack.

"Ah sorry, where was I? Oh yes, can't happen, well not can't, but really, really shouldn't happen. A man of the future having a child in the past, brings up all sorts of complications, you could end up being your own grandfather! Even if you just had one child every century, that would mean that by the time you would be born you would have fathered roughly 319 children!"

Jack looked devastated. "I can never have children? Ever? Not even after I've been born?"

The Doctor looked at Jack, his eyes full of sorrow. "I'm sorry Jack, it can't happen. Besides, there is nothing to say that the child wouldn't take after you."

Jack looked confused. "What do you mean, take after me?"

"He, she, it could be immortal as well. Do you really want to subject a child to a life where everyone they love dies? Not to mention the fact that if they are immortal the ageing process will be far slower than that of an average human!"

"How much slower is slower?" Jack asked, almost dreading the answer.

The Doctor paced, his hands waving wildly. "Think of it Jack. Since you were changed you've aged possibly one or two days in almost 200 years. That's 73,000 days of a mortal life for one of yours. The average human pregnancy lasts 9 months, that's approximately 270 days, you could be pregnant for 54,000 years."

Jack looked faint "54,000…"

"Some women go through hell in a pregnancy, backache, morning sickness, food aversion…"

"54,000 years without coffee." Jack looked pained at the thought. "Still I'd have a child, someone I wouldn't lose."

The Doctor looked saddened at the desperation he could hear in Jack's voice. "But could you really do that to a child? A child that would remain as a child and that wouldn't reach maturity for 1,168,000 years assuming that the equivalent of 16 years old was maturity. That's 1,168,000 years of being unable to play with other children, of seeing beloved pets die in the blink of an eye. You were an adult when you changed, you were capable of rational thought and you still fought against it, imagine being a child and unable to understand why you are so different, why all your friends die so quickly. It's wrong Jack."

Jack flinched at the Doctor's words, the truth sinking in. He sat down, head bowed, not looking at the Doctor. "I'm gonna be alone forever."

The Doctor looked at the great Captain Jack Harkness, the man that was usually larger than life, who was at that moment looking so young, so small, so dejected. "Look at me, Jack" He crouched down in front of his friend. "You will never be alone, not unless you choose to be. You will meet so many wonderful people, people that will love you so much."

"But I'll lose them Doc, worse than that I'll lose them and forget they existed. I will spend my life watching the people I love die and my memories of them erode, forgetting what they looked like, forgetting what they sounded like, forgetting their feel, their smell and their smiles. All I will have left will be fragments, phrases, odd little scenes that I won't be able to put a face to. That's not a life Doc, that's hell."

The Doctor bounced up, an excited look on his face. "Back in a tick." Jack heard him move around the TARDIS accompanied by muffled curses and cries of "so that's where I put it". After 10 minutes or so the Doc returned holding out his hand, bouncing like an excited child.

"Go on take it, you'll like it I promise." His voice rising in glee.

Jack looked at the object in the Doctor's hand. "Doc, thanks for the thought but I really don't think a crystal ball is going to help."

The Doctor looked smug. "Ah, but this is not just any crystal ball. This is a Genarian memory ball. Lovely creatures but shocking memories. Can't remember a thing! So they invented this little beauty." He handed the crystal orb to Jack. "Go on, think of a name."

Jack thought of Ianto, the man he had left to face Daleks whilst he helped the Doctor. Within moments the tall, elegantly dressed man was in the room with them, every detail correct down to his unique scent, 'Brut for men' with a touch of coffee and disinfectant. Jack moved to touch him, only for his hand to pass through the figure.

"It can only do so much I'm afraid. It will perfectly replicate a memory with audio, visual and olfactory precision but in effect it's still only a hologram. Once you master the orb you will be able to replay precise situations."

"How does it work? Do I have to remember names, dates etc…for it to work?"

The Doc looked smug. "Nope, it takes a bit of practice but once you've used it a couple of times it will be able to read you and predict what you want to see and will retrieve the memory and replay it automatically." The Doctor moved towards the door. "Now I think it's time you left the old girl and I. There's a certain Welshman waiting anxiously outside the door."

Jack smiled, not his usual grin but a small, tender smile. "Thanks Doc. Feel free to drop by any time. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and make some memories." He opened the door and stepped out into Ianto's arms. "Hey gorgeous, did you miss me?"


End file.
